Time is tight

I don't know why this is the case everytime. About two weeks before going back, after summer i get this panic... This feeling of not wanting to return. It has decreased as i got used to the town found friends and actually built somekind of life there. Not even deep fried mars bars makes the idea of going back better... Haha Honestly i still havent tried it... Feels like it is a serving of heartattack on a plate!

Maybe i'm weak, i mean now that i actually like being in glasgow why do i have to worry so much about going back? Or feel this anxiety. I dunno, and i cant figure it out. I think it has to do with missing my mum, or to miss haveing family around. Im never like not wanting to go to singapore when that comes around. And maybe its because i've really really enjoyed this summer? Its been so good in someways not like your ordinary summer, partly becasue the nonexistant summer weather.

Maybe beacause i dont want to study? But that cant be true... Becasue im so excited to go and. Have a challaging last year. So what am i scared about? I dunno. Maybe the emptiness, i hate being alone... Or living alone... I want that someone moving around the house not necessarily speaking but just being there. It makes such a difference.

Maybe its friskis? My one true source of happiness no matter what... Ateast allmost true... Scots dont know how to have fun while training... I miss fiona, karen from second year... Now i suppose i have gisele thou... Ilove my posse of aunties! :)

Buut i also know that after i set my foot into my appartment/room i know that it gets better and better and after a week or so its all good. It takes time to move my stuff that this summer is at björn and kims... then i need to set up a wireless network... Will so do that the second day... Im also going to star my dissertation for real as soon as i get the green card... As well as atleast micro economics this semester... With either asset pricing or behavioural finance... Its gonna be good!

So somehow i really look up to strong people that can just leave everything behind, and just go. I mean i do it but its not so easy for me. Yeah i dunno... It all will atone!

I'll allways love you, i hope you know that!

Sebastian